Feeling unsexy this summer?

(c) United Pole Artists, Used with permission

It's bikini season, the perfect time to show off rocking bodies and strut your sexy. In the pole world it's even bigger than that since UPA's Bringing Sexy Back is going on again (through today).  For some of us this turns into a bit of an issue because we don't feel that sexy. So what do we do?

I just finished reading yet another discussion on Facebook where one side trashed "imperfect" bodies and the other side promoted self-love. Seriously, this again? People, no one will work on her fitness level if she does not love her body! Does it appall me when people neglect their bodies to the point of unhealthy obesity? Yes, it does. But I can't decide this at a glance. And I'm not perfect--who could define perfect?--plus everyone deserves to be happy. 

Just like I don't like being judged as "must be anorexic" I won't be judging someone as "must be lazy and gluttonous." In fact, at my thinnest I was incredibly lazy and gluttonous. Genetics saved me from looking as unhealthy as I was. People more active than I am that eat better than me get
labeled as "fat" and "unhealthy." People claim to be concerned about the rising costs of health care (don't get me started on health care) or influencing children or a number of excuses. It all just comes down to being judgmental and feeling a need to be superior. Don't let that get you down, "skinny" or "fat." Also, I appreciate people that don't put down "thin" women in order to celebrate "curvy" women. Don't complicate things, just promote self-love.

There is no one sexy body type.

We are all a little different, like it or not. Embrace it: variety is the spice of life. Not everyone has the same idea of what sexy is--my definition is probably different than yours--and they are all valid. I have seen so many women criticizing their butt as being too big (is there such a  thing!?) or their lack of abs when you can clearly see ab-bage. You might swear your legs are bowed funny but you might not realize your friends envy them. Or maybe if you're a mom you sometimes you feel like mom and sexy do not go together (yup, I'm guilty.) 

For me the toughest part of Bringing Sexy Back is I feel like pregnant women being sexy is a bit like making the baby be sexy too. I was writing an article for next week on pregnancy and most of the pictures I browsed for it were shots of bare-bellied topless women. At first I was, I admit it, blushing a little through the pictures (I can be such a prude for certain things). But honestly? I still feel sexy when I'm with my partner. It's just hard for me to imagine being sexy to the rest of the world. What's more, when I get hit on now I find it jarring. It's not that I don't think pregnant women can be sexy, it's that I was raised to be ashamed of the human body (oh the dirty, dirty human body).

Silhouette Sexy (c) Eduardo Merille
CC Attribution 2.0 License

Just celebrate your body. Focus on the compliments you are getting--don't sabotage yourself and insult your admirers by writing them off. See the beauty in other women's bodies and notice how their perceived imperfections are just that, skewed perception, and you'll find that your own are too. It can be so hard for women in fitness to be okay with who we are now when we have a vision of who we will become. The truth is that every step is beautiful, even your starting point as that woman you wanted to change.